Shadow (Shy)

​Have you been trying to do something

and, your conscience brings up excuses every time like,

thinking who am I 

why am I very shy

praying to the Lord,

​

why me God,

I wanna be just like a real boy

take this disability out of me,

girls look at me with disbelief, 

please I'm begging you,

I can’t find the words for the life of me

but, when I write I am free,

I can do anything,

​

sadly all that rhyming cant turn into talking,

why me,

I cant find the confidence running in me,

flowing in me like a river cant wash

that debris clogging the dam out of my brain.

It’s like I'm in a confinement cell,

and the bully is my mind, do you feel that sometimes,

you cant open your eyes, you just say your fine but,

the soldier in you is vaporizing slowly in time

you bind your feelings

keep it way deep inside for you to stress

about the very why

God put this in you.

my shadow lives and breathes shy.

why is it, so loud in my head,

not allowed to express my pain to anyone because, I'm too shy, I just write,

put all my pain in this page, fire in my brain,

wont get extinguished until, someone finds me.this shadow eats any confidence I have

but, he wont win, I love my life, I wont die, watch me rise,

watch me shine,

shadow

​

watch me climb over this shy

because, its just a moment in time,

I will survive,

I will put everything weighing me down on my back and,

Ill run a mile and,

retake what you took, hope you see all the crap,

I’m going through because,

God,

you say is making me better but, I don’t see it,

being shy is a heartache like a shadow following me to the end road, when I go back home,

I wish I said something but, I guess the fear was to big,

so heavy to carry

staying silent was the only valid option to stay my own way.

the mind is a scary place, if you stay in it for too long,

there's gonna be nightmares

you develop not immediately but, for sure in time you will be feeling like an object people

just look at, not interact with

so, tell that shadow, I'm done missing the good, the world

has to offer. its time to Kamehameha YOU!!!! to the grave

and bury YOU!!!! 6 feet deep and say

​

you kept me for many years but, no more,

I'm not yours, I will be my own hype, when I cant talk

walking in a zone where I don't want to be

but, I will be fighting to be free and,  free others like me causing a nightmare for you shadow so,

you cant destroy anyone else's life.